i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
