its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
