I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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