3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
