yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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