You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
