i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
