I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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