his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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