Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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