He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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