There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So vagazzling was a success
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
