She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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