I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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