It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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