I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
