Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize