we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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