Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
