DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
