Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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