I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
