dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
