I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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