Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
FUCK WHALES
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
The air taste purple.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
