Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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