We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
