Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
