It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
do herpes really smell.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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