Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
