I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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