Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
