oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
