marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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