She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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