When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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