Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
