hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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