He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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