I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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