Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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