I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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