just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
