Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
