Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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