So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
And then he peed in my hair
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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