We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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