The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
