he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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