would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
