I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
