So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
