I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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