Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
