Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
