we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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