I smell stomach acid.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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