She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
