Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
