Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
