I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
