elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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