we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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