it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The best revenge is premature balding
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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